Day 54: Missed Workout #5 :(

So I'm trying to be super proud of myself for going 54 days and only missing 5 workouts. I mean, that should be a great accomplishment right? And I know it is, but I feel incredibly guilty about not working out today and really wish that I would just get my crap together now that Tenley is asleep and do it. But I'm not going to. Let me start from the beginning...

Today was a very good day. Nothing out of the ordinary, really. We got up around 8:30 (after bringing Ten back to bed with me around 6:45) and ate breakfast. My sister-in-law Carrie stopped over for about an hour which was great, and once she left I fed Tenley lunch and then she seemed to want to nap. Since it was still before noon I decided to lay down with her. She ended up falling asleep around 11:45 and stayed asleep until 1. Since she was sleeping on our bed, I made my regular lunch and then started to work on some things for her party in the other room. I couldn't work out then because it is never smart for me to workout directly after a meal and I wasn't sure how long she would sleep. Once she was up, I was halfway through completing my homemade cupcake stand for the party and needed black wrapping paper. I loaded her up in the car and ran to Target. 30 minutes later we were back home with a finished (except for some missing ribbon that will come from Michael's) cupcake stand and a wide awake baby. It was all downhill (in the attempting to work out category) from there. John came home, I packed for our trip to mom and dad's, Julie and Casey stopped by for a surprise visit which was awesome, then John left for a basketball game and it was just me and Tenley. By that point it was too late to put her down for a nap and we started the dinner/bath/bedtime routine. Now it is 8:30, Tenley is sleeping by my side, and I'm tucked in bed with my computer and Army Wives for the rest of the night.

Reasons I'm disappointed:

1. I don't like missing workouts
2. I just ate Jimmy John's and that Core Synergistics would have helped
3. I know that even though it won't do a lot of damage, I will feel disgusting tomorrow because I didn't work out.
4. Because we are leaving for mom and dad's asap tomorrow and chances are close to 0 that I will get my workout in at all

Reasons I don't feel too bad:

1. I did not do the "stretch" day this week and instead replaced it with a cardio workout so I guess technically I haven't really missed a workout yet
2. On a whim I decided to try on my most favorite dress in my closet yesterday and it FIT. This is the dress that I have had since the summer before my wedding. It is the dress I wore to one of my bridal showers. It is a dress that has a full zipper up the back that would not zip even halfway three months ago. And it fit.

John came home yesterday when I had just zipped the dress and asked me what I was all dressed up for. When I told him, he said, "It's that P90X." I guess I am just having trouble wrapping my head around the fact that I really am the same weight (or less) than I was before I found out I was pregnant, but it just doesn't feel that way. I have really noticed that my body has changed. My stomach was always my "problem" area before (in my eyes) and it is even more so now. I'm still not comfortable wearing jeans with figure hugging shirts because I feel like my stomach sticks out. This may all sound stupid, but it's just a self-conscious thing I have. I don't even remember what I looked like before getting pregnant and I feel like I'm striving for something that isn't really in the cards. All I can do is to keep doing what I am doing (because it must be working) and hope for the best.

So, that is an incredibly long way of saying that I didn't work out today, probably won't tomorrow, and Sunday is a rest day. On another note, the most awesome thing happened tonight. Ten and I were sitting in her room and she was playing while I was eating my dinner. I looked up from my sandwich and she was just looking at me and I said, "I love you so much girl" and she smiled and leaned in towards me with her mouth open to give me a kiss. I almost burst into tears it was so sweet. It's things like this that remind me that all the extra "flab" in the world is worth having that sweet little girl.

36 days to go!