Day 23: Holy Core!

Today has been a wonderful day. The weather is beautiful, Tenley has been in a great mood, I have been able to clean my whole house, and my workout is done. John has an away game tonight, so Jenny is coming over for dinner and I am so looking forward to catching up with her and just having a little "girl time." Today is also my friend Becky's (shout out!) son Finn's (double shout out!) first birthday. I don't know why his birthday has affected me so much today (in a good way) but it really has. Becky and I went through a large part of our pregnancies together and I still look to her for advice often. To think that Finn is one today really puts things in perspective and goes to show how a year can fly by so fast. Tenley's birthday is in just 2 1/2 short months and it literally blows my mind that my baby can be a year old already. It has gone by in the blink of an eye. Now I can relate to my mom when she says, "It still seems like you were just born yesterday." I was looking at Tenley as she took a nap and I had to do a double take at how long she is. She is just not a little peanut anymore. It makes me sad, but happy for the days to come. So, Happy Birthday Finn- I hope your day has been as good as ours! :)

Keeping with the tone of this great day, I had a really great workout. I can't decide if I liked it so much because it was something brand new or if I just had the energy to power through it, but P90X introduced me to "core synergistics" today. Spellcheck is telling my that "synergistics" is not a word, so congratulations Tony Horton for introducing me to more nonsense. The thing is, this nonsense kicked my butt today. I can't even describe the workout, but I finished with a sweat-soaked shirt and everything feeling like jelly. That's what I like in a workout. I think that I do this workout twice this week, so I will look forward to it when it comes. Maybe I should wait and see how I feel tomorrow.

Food today is nothing to write home about. I wouldn't even talk about my food intake from day to day if it weren't for stupid dinner. Tonight I will be having Jimmy Johns (again) with Jenny. I am going to make sure to go easy on the mayo and I don't think I will get any chips, but still- I know this isn't the best meal for me and I continue to have it. Last night's tacos were amazing, but I definitely ate more than I should have. I don't know what to do about the dinner situation and am just going to try to keep eating like I have been because I want to see how much the P90X works when having a good breakfast, light lunch, and semi-sensible dinner. After the 90 days I will decide what needs to change with my eating. I feel pretty good because since I have started this program I have cut out the snacks (almost entirely) and am making smarter choices when eating out. Before this program, we were seriously eating pizza, Chinese, and burgers/fries for dinner most nights. It was awful and disgusting. So, my eating has changed but I don't know if it has changed enough.

I am very impressed that I have stuck with this for 23 days and have only missed 1 1/2 workouts. That is amazing to me given my workout track record in the last year or so. Let's see if we can keep it up- 67 days to go!

Day 22: Bring It On Week 4

So I have officially made it through Phase 1 of P90X which has been three hard weeks of "muscle confusion." This week brings on a stretch week which I am sort of skeptical about but I am going to go with it because it supposedly works. Before I go any further, my friend Alice posted this link on my wall this morning about P90X which I thought was pretty cool:




It's neat to see that it really is supposed to work. The amount of calories burned per session kind of surprised me in a way because I totally believe it on the cardio stuff- those are sweaty, pulse pounding workouts. The lifting stuff still confuses me, but I have NEVER been a consistent weights person so what do I know?

Before getting to more workout stuff, lets talk about food. I fell off the wagon BIG TIME yesterday after writing my post. Like 5 peppermint cookies (they are small, but still) and pizza for dinner fell off the wagon. We ate pretty late last night as well, so all of that did not leave me feeling great. I am back at it today though and have had the normal boring food with no snacks and am trying desperately to get as much water as possible. I really need to be better about drinking water because I am pretty much sucking at it. Dinner tonight is going to be tacos, so we will see how that goes. It sounds pretty good right now and I even got baked Tostitos scoops thinking that if I eat some chips and salsa I won't eat a ton of tacos. We'll see how that works out.

My workout today was the dreaded Yoga X but I found today that I enjoyed it a (tiny) bit more. I'm getting the hang of the moves and even finding that I am pushing myself to bend farther/lower/deeper which really makes a difference. I broke a sweat today and held all of the poses (except for the stupid last one which I can ALMOST do) the whole time. I am still only doing the first 50 minutes of the workout and foregoing the balance poses altogether which I am hoping is not going to skew my results. If it is, I'll take it. I simply do not have an hour and 32 minutes to work out. I'm already pushing it as it is.

According to my P90X guidebook, this week is supposed to "allow your body to recover from resistance training and will focus on tightening your midsection into a hard, ripped sheet." I laugh at this as I think of Tenley kneading my belly fat this afternoon like it was playdough. Blech. Bring it on, Week 4, I need all the help I can get. 68 days to go...

Day 21: A True Day of Rest

I am actually living a dream right now. It is 2:35 on a Sunday afternoon and I have the house entirely to myself. The only thing I have to do this afternoon is Tenley's laundry, and other than that I am free to surf the internet, watch bad TV, and sleep. John has taken Tenley to a basketball game and (possibly) dinner with a friend which gives me the longest span of free time I have had to myself in over 9 months. I know that I will be itching for Tenley when she comes home, but for right now I am trying to figure out just how I want to spend this time. The even better part? I don't have to work out!

I weighed myself today and I am down another half pound. It is what I expected given the fact that this program doesn't really seem to aim towards taking off a ton of weight; it's more about getting toned, building muscle, and being in the "best shape of your life." I have mixed feelings about this morning's weigh-in:

- I am 125.6 pounds which means that I am exactly 1 1/2 pounds more than I was the day I found out I was pregnant. I guess this means that I am almost back to "normal"

- I in no way feel like I look like my previous "normal"...which could have to do with being pregnant and my body shifting around...? Also, I think I took for granted the shape I was actually in before getting pregnant.

- I was 125 pounds in grad school when I looked at myself and said, "Girl, you have to get it together and do something about yourself"

- 125.6 pounds is a perfectly normal weight for my height and I feel more excited about how my body might tone up rather than what the scale says

Overall, I am just happy that I am losing anything because anything is less than I have weighed (well, almost) since August of 2010. If the last three weeks have taught me anything, it is to try and be better about eating and exercising in my next pregnancy. I know the old saying, "9 months to put it on, 9 months to take it off" which is kind of true in my case since Tenley is a little over 9 months and I am almost back to my pre-baby weight but it could have been a lot easier and sooner if I just would have been better about it in the first place. Part of me wouldn't take back one cookie, though because for once I was concerned with something that was bigger than me and I allowed myself and my body to have a BREAK. I do feel better now that I am back at it and am interested to see what this new week has in store as far as P90 X is concerned. We are officially out of the 70s...69 days to go!

Day 20: Feeling Good

Today has been a pretty good day overall. Tenley and I picked Betty up at a little after 10 and we went to the mecca for moms and moms-to-be: Babies R Us. That place never gets old to me. It was overwhelming when I first started going there, but I feel like an old pro. Like I could be the tour director for baby registries. Which I have done and really like to do. :) We had a nice time getting tater tot's shower gift and looking at stuff for Clark's registry. Tenley scored some jars of baby food and drawer locks so although she probably doesn't feel like she hit the jackpot with those items, I am happy that we were able to pick them up.

Betty and I decided to go to Chili's for lunch. Chili's has one of my all-time favorite salads: the quesadilla explosion salad. Yum! I was hoping that they made it in half sizes but the waitress said that wasn't possible, so I got it with the ranch dressing on the side. Luckily (for my diet) and unluckily (for our conversation) Tenley wasn't really having the whole sit-down-and-eat thing so I feel like I spent more time dealing with her than actually eating. This meant that the salad did not come close to getting finished which is OK by me. The not ok by me part is that I actually ate two of the four quesadilla triangles which I probably should have done without. I am not sure what dinner is going to bring, but it may either be Subway or the standard lunch option. Hopefully it won't bring pizza or anything else that will leave me feeling bad.

I was able to get my Kenpo X workout in today, even though it was a little later than usual. John was napping so there was no one to leave Tenley with until she decided to nap which wasn't until 4:00. I really like Kenpo X because it goes SO FAST. The 11 minutes of stretching in the beginning are ridiculous and it almost turns me off to the whole workout. But, once the actual action starts, I don't find myself looking at the time much. This is the only workout that doesn't tick down the time for each move; instead, there is just an overall timer at the bottom of the screen. I like this better because I find myself not referring to the time when I'm not telling myself, "How much longer do I have to hold THIS move for?" and it helps a lot. The other thing about this workout that I like is that you really sweat a lot. When I get done, I don't feel overly exhausted like I do with the lifting workouts but I am very sweaty and my heart rate is nuts-o. It's a great way to end the week of workouts.

As stated before, tomorrow is a rest day and I am looking forward to doing nothing. Monday starts a week of new stuff but only or one week; it's a rest of sorts before three more weeks of butt kicking. Hopefully the scale will reflect a little bit of my work this week. We shall see tomorrow- 70 days left!

Day 19: Friday Workout is in the Books

So after I wrote my post last night, I had a lingering feeling of guilt for missing my workout. Before I went to sleep, I told myself to just forget it and move on which is exactly what I have done. I woke up this morning with a "new day, new chance" attitude and let bygones be bygones.

Tenley and I have had a very busy week so it was nice to know that we had nowhere to go today. It has and continues to be a long day because we had Clara again this morning and John has an away game tonight which means it's all me, all day and all night with Tenley. I LOVE my baby, but these days that it's me and only me with her get to be tiring. Yesterday was the same way. Sometimes you just need a break, you know? But, I also realize that motherhood doesn't really allow for breaks and am thankful that she has started and continues to take naps so that I can at least work out. Enough said.

Eating today has gone without a hitch. Cereal and coffee for breakfast, turkey sandwich/baked lays/yogurt/diet pepsi for lunch, and now I am questioning dinner. Since John isn't going to be home, I am not going to cook. The only things I really have in the house to make quickly for one person is what I eat for lunch and, although I love my lunch combo, I don't think I can do it twice in one day. I would really like to get Subway, but that would mean packing up Tenley and going out which really seems stupid to do. I wish the Munster Subway had a drive-thru because at least I wouldn't have to drag Tenley out of the car, in to the restaurant, and back again. To those of you who do not have children: cherish the fact that you can run in to and out of your favorite sandwich shop/deli/coffee place now because it becomes a lot more complicated when you have a baby. :) I think what I am going to do is order Jimmy John's. I know that this is probably not the smartest idea, but I am only going to order a sandwich (no chips, no cookie like I usually do) and just have some baked lays here at home. I don't really see any other option and I am not going to load Tenley up and drag her out if I don't have to. Also, I think that as far as delivery goes, Jimmy John's is smarter than pizza, right?

Today's workout was Legs and Back followed by Ab Ripper X. I think not working out yesterday actually helped the motivation a little because the Legs and Back workout went by fast. That workout is hard. It reminds me a lot of Beth's BLT class which I secretly loved and not so secretly hated. Boy to be 26 again and working out at Gator's! The Ab Ripper X was as excruciating as ever, but I have found that the one dang move that I have never been able to do is slowly starting to come to fruition. I can do half of it for about half the reps it takes Tony and the gang. I think my overall goal for Ab Ripper X is to be able to do every move and (hopefully) do each move for as many reps as Tony. We will see if that happens.

Tomorrow is Kenpo X and it should be pretty good as long as I can find the time to do it. Betty and I are going shopping tomorrow for a very special tater tot's shower gift in the morning so hopefully Tenley will be ready for a nap when we get home and I can get the workout in. I am looking forward to Sunday's rest day and am very interested to see what Week 4 holds. I have been reading up on it a little and it is a rest/stretch week to let the muscles that "have been confused" rest and ready for what lies ahead. Whatever. As long as it does what it says it's going to do, I will be happy. 71 days and counting...

Day 18: Feeling Guilty

I have let it happen. I have missed a workout. I feel guilty but not awful. Here is why:

Tenley and I had a great day today. She slept through the night which is a blessing given our last week or sleep. She slept long enough for me to be fully showered and ready for the day before she woke up. Once she was up, I fed her, gave her a bath, and packed her up for another play date. Today we went to Amy's to play with Nora and this has been a play date in the making for at least 7 months. Amy happens to be one of John's former students and she and her husband were married the day before us. We found this out because they just happened to be on the same honeymoon that we were. To make things even more coincidental, Amy had Nora on March 2nd which is the second day I was in the hospital for my preterm labor. So, in essence, we almost had our girls at the same time. Thank goodness Nora was on time and Tenley decided to cook until her due date. Once Tenley was home from the hospital, John suggested I friend Amy on Facebook so that maybe we could get together. We have been exchanging messages back and forth for at least 7 months and finally decided to get together today.

We had so much fun with Amy and Nora at their house. The girls did well together and it was nice to talk to Amy in person. I only hope that we can continue to talk and get together because I feel like we are a lot alike. We were only together for a couple of hours, and the time flew by. Nora is such a little cutie and who knows? Maybe she and Tenley will become good friends.

When we returned home from Amy's, Tenley wasn't quite ready to nap yet so we played. Once it was time for her nap, I was so tired that I decided that I would lay down with her. Instead of work out. I just didn't see how Yoga X was more important today than snuggling with my baby. So, all in all, I don't really feel bad about it for these reasons:

1. It was Yoga X. The worst workout in the world
2. I know I would not have skipped any other workout
3. Because next week is a stretch week, guess what the first workout is on Monday? Yup. Yoga X.
4. Snuggling with Tenley is not something to feel guilty about

Eating today has been a little off too but I am hoping to correct it with dinner (kind of). I had cereal for breakfast and picked up Jimmy John's for Amy and I for lunch. I had my regular #2 but went easy on the mayo and didn't get chips which is a big victory for me. Instead of having a normal dinner, I am just doing to have my regular lunch with some water and hopefully that will save my eating for today. I don't think the sandwich from Jimmy John's is doing a lot of damage overall, especially since I didn't tack on the chips.

I talked to my brother last night about P90X because he has gone through it twice. I asked him when he really started seeing results and he told me about midway through the second phase. He told me to hang in there and that although he didn't lose much weight (10 pounds overall) his body was totally transformed to being toned and solid. If I can get even half of the results he did then it will be worth it. His talk was reassuring (even if I skipped today) because I want to make sure I am not wasting an hour and 20 minutes 6 days a week on something that isn't going to give results. At this point, I am spending the only hour and 20 minutes I have to myself ALL DAY and ALL NIGHT on working out. I could be doing TONS of other things with that time, so I want to be sure that at the end of 90 days it wasn't all for nothing.

With that, I have 72 days to go. That's right- I am just totally skipping today. I'm not going to make it up, we are just going to move forward.

Day 17: Sooooo Unmooootivated

Despite the title of this post, things went well today in the personal goal department. It was just INCREDIBLY hard to get my workout in. I'll fill you in below.

First of all, the day started out a little different than usual because my niece Clara came over before school started today. This happens occasionally when my brother-in-law is out of town because he is usually the one that takes Clara to school. Although it means getting up a lot earlier than usual, these days are nice because I have some company in the morning and Clara loves seeing the dogs and Tenley. I think this earlier start (paired with a terrible night of sleep) helped contribute to my feelings of utter sluggishness today.

After Clara left, Tenley and I took our time with her breakfast and getting ready. Once we had both been cleaned and dressed, we packed up, picked up Subway, and went to school to have lunch with Becky for her birthday. That was super fun and it was nice to see some of the awesome students that we traveled to Minneapolis with earlier this fall. As any time with Becky seems to go, it sped by and we were packed up and leaving for home again by a little after 12.

Once we got home, Tenley was extremely crabby so I nursed her and....she fell asleep. Not at her usual time. Which meant that I didn't know if she was going to sleep for 30 minutes or 2 hours so I just laid with her and entertained my new favorite hobby: dreaming up her first birthday party. Tenley decided to sleep for over an hour (maybe even an hour and a half- time flies when you are on Pinterest!) and when she woke up she was an even bigger grump than before. We played for a couple of hours and then I decided to put her in her swing to see if she would sleep so I could get my workout in. Luckily, she cooperated. What I realized is that I should have taken a nap when she did earlier because my tank was empty where motivation to work out was concerned. But, to the basement I went.

I think the one thing that saved me today was that it was my good workout- the shoulders/biceps/triceps workout followed by Ab Ripper X. It was really hard to get started but once I got into it, the time went pretty fast. I was only able to do half of the Ab Ripper X because Tenley woke up, but after my extreme lack of motivation I figured that an hour and ten minutes of working out was probably a victory. I was able to increase the amount of weight I lifted with almost every move today, so that seemed like another accomplishment. I guess we will see if I have toned arms in another 74 days or so.

Eating today was a little off but not by much. Breakfast was the same old cereal and coffee and I had Subway for lunch but stuck with a turkey sandwich on wheat with a little light mayo and veggies, chips, and a drink- not much different from my usual lunch. Dinner was BBQ ribs, salad, and mashed potatoes and I was pretty good with my portions (big salad, little potatoes, decent meat) and no snacks today. My water consumption could probably be a little bit better, but we'll try that for tomorrow.

I have now had to move myself and my computer across the floor of Tenley's room 10 times because she has crawled to me that many times and tried to contribute to this post. I think my time is running out. :) 73 days to go!

Day 16: Such a Busy Day!

Today has been a bit crazy but nothing we can't handle. Tenley slept in this morning so we got a bit of a late start and all of the day's activities centered around her 9 month checkup and then John's makeup basketball game. Luckily, things went smoothly and, so far, everything has been accomplished. Tenley's doctor's appointment went well even though we were in the waiting room for 45 minutes. She was patient and did great. She has gained another 2 pounds and has grown another 2 inches so she seems to be right on track. I love that baby's guts!

Eating has been the same old, same old today. I will end up having a really late dinner since we have to leave for John's game soon and I am going back and forth about getting Subway after the game or just eating leftover sloppy joes and mac and cheese. We have a lot of the joes left and just a bit of mac and cheese, so that's probably the route I should go. We shall see.

Working out was fine today. It was the dreaded day of Plyometrics and as I was doing the first ten minutes every bit of me was screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS!" but I stuck through the whole hour and felt super good after. I am kind of annoyed that I am starting to memorize the routines and know what comes next which makes me anticipate things in a bad way (in two moves we have to do squat jacks? NOOOOO!). It's probably a good thing that this is the last week for this sequence of workouts and that next week is entirely different.

Tomorrow is the good day- all arms. Hopefully it will go as planned. 74 days to go!

Day 15: Back at it Again

Today was a rough day in Tenley-ville but a good day overall in the eating/working out department. Tenley seemed to have started off the day on the wrong foot and decided to be incredibly fussy for the remainder of today. These days are so hard because I literally can't do anything besides hold her or be right by her side. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE cuddling my Bug but it gets to be a bit waring when I can't even go to the bathroom without having her fussing and reaching for me. Even when I am down playing with her she fusses and although these days are few and far between now (thank goodness) it doesn't make them any easier.

Food-wise, I had a pretty good day. Back to the same old breakfast/lunch combo and I actually had an apple for an after-workout snack. I seem to be really hungry after this Monday workout for some reason, so I am happy I had some fruit on hand to help out with the need for something to munch on. Dinner of course was the usual challenge; I made sloppy joes and homestyle mac and cheese but I only had one sloppy joe on a whole wheat bun and probably a little over a serving of macaroni. No wine or sweets for me tonight!

I am now starting my third week of P90X and the third time doing the shoulders/chest workout. I notices again this week that I was able to do more pushups with better form, so that is good. I also wore a pair of yoga pants today to workout in and had to pull them up a few times. These pants have been skintight on me up to this point, so I feel like the loosening there is a small victory. These pants have been way too tight in the rear for the past 9 months (and longer if you count pregnancy) and today I noticed that you no longer see panty lines (gross) when I wear them. All that to say, I think something is working here which is enough to keep me going.

Tomorrow Tenley has her 9 month checkup and John has a basketball game so I am hoping that I can get my Plyo workout in if Tenley will take an early nap. Wish me luck...75 days left!

Day 14: Another Rest Day

I am writing this post feeling absolutely ashamed of myself for falling off the wagon this weekend. My eating has been awful, but at least I have stuck to the workout plan and I plan to get right back on the wagon tomorrow. It is really hard to eat well when my parents are in town and I know that is an excuse, but it is just the way it is. Last night we went to a new BBQ place in Frankfort that was super good and instead of getting a pulled pork salad like I thought I would, I got the pulled pork dinner complete with french fries, corn bread, and mac and cheese. :( I only ate half of the meal, but I plan on eating the other half for dinner tonight. Oh, did I mention the pulled pork nachos? Yeah, I had those too. Fail, fail, fail. Today I had cereal, coffee and a donut (which was not good but I ate it anyway) and we just finished pizza for lunch. More failing. I probably should work out today just to compensate but I am sticking to the P90X sequence so that when I finish all 90 days, I can say that I followed the workout plan.

Amongst all of this bad eating, I have actually managed to lose another pound and a half this week which puts me about 2 pounds away from the weight I was the day I found out I was pregnant and another 7 or 8 pounds away from a weight I would be truly happy about. I have realized that I am less interested in what the scale says and more interested in the way I actually look. As I said in yesterday's post, I feel like the parts I am most uncomfortable with (baby flab around the stomach, thighs that rub together, etc) are starting to look and FEEL a bit better which is what I am happy about. I think that is why I am so interested to stick through the P90X program to see if it actually does make a difference in the way I look. I know that I am not going to be ripped- I am not following the diet plan they lay out because it is just not something I am interested in. Maybe if I get to the end of the 90 days and don't have the results I want I will do another round and try it with the diet; by that time I will (possibly) be weaning Tenley and will not have to worry so much about my calorie intake or whatever.

I am vowing to do better this week. With that, there are "only" 76 days to go! :)

Day 13: 2nd Favorite Workout= Kenpo X

So last night was an EPIC FAIL. Not only did I not find a time to fit in Ab Ripper X, I didn't even THINK about doing it after I posted on this blog. Also, John called and wanted to know if I wanted to go to El Salto since his game was cancelled so we packed up Tenley, braved the snow storm, and had a fantastic little family dinner. Sometimes it still amazes me when I look across the table to see that I have a husband and a 9 month old. The fact that Tenley is 9 months old today just blows my mind. Anyways, I had a soft chicken taco and an order of rice and beans which is less than I usually order but John swindled me into sharing a fried ice cream so I pretty much just blew it. It made me really glad that I at least did the leg workout yesterday!

Today I am back on track and feeling good. Breakfast and lunch are in the bag and I have already done my workout. My parents are on their way, so I know that dinner will be a struggle. John found a new BBQ place out in the Franfort/Tinley area that we are going to try so I need to try to be somewhat sensible with what I eat. Maybe a pulled pork salad? We'll see.

Today's workout was awesome. The Kenpo X was easier (coordination-wise) this week because I remembered the sequence of moves from last week. I finished it ten minutes ago and I am still sweating which always makes me feel like I have accomplished something. I was kind of dreading this workout today because it starts out so slow and the stretching is weird, but once it gets going if flies by. It's a nice way to end my workout week, especially after the bad eating I had yesterday.

Tomorrow is a rest day which is perfectly timed because of my parents being here. I then have one more week of this sequence and then it is a week of more cardio less weights (I think). I don't know what the scale will read tomorrow, but I can tell you that I think that my body is starting to change. This is a weird thing to go by, but my Santa put new undies in my stocking this year and I have been wearing them somewhat uncomfortably. They are the same size that I wore before I was pregnant but it seems that they just haven't been fitting well and I always feel like fat is just spilling over everywhere. I noticed today that they are a little more comfortable, so hopefully that is a sign of toning and not of my underwear just stretching. :) 77 days to go!

Day 12: A BAD Food Day

I am feeling kind of ashamed of myself right now. I have been doing so well these past two weeks with my eating and today I have blown it a little...and with my parents coming this weekend I don't see it getting much better. Breakfast was the same as usual- coffee and cereal. But, last night my boss let me know that they were ordering in Edwardo's (my FAVE pizza place) for lunch for Linda's official last day and wanted to know if we wanted to come in...her treat. Who can turn down free Edwardo's? Not this girl, apparently. I'm so glad that we went in because I love my coworkers, but while I was loving my coworkers I was also eating my entire salad (with limited ranch dressing) and my whole personal size thin crust pizza. I had told myself that I was only going to eat the salad and half the pizza, but I was so busy talking and feeding Tenley that I was on my third piece before I knew it. Now I know I could have had stuffed instead of thin which would have been worse or eaten all my dressing or whatever as excuses to make me feel better, but I just feel rotten.

When we got home, Tenley was ready for her nap. I was NOT ready to workout and almost skipped it because of my full stomach but decided that if I didn't do it now, I wasn't going to do it and I REALLY want to see this 90 day program through. Tenley slept and I did Legs and Back. This is the workout that I only did half of last week because of time constraints, and I managed to do the full hour today. It falls in the middle of the pack for me- I don't loathe it but I don't necessarily relish it. I have not done the Ab Ripper X yet today and I don't know if I will...Tenley is waking from her nap as we speak and I don't know if I will get an extra 16 minutes to myself today. I think John's game is cancelled due to weather, so maybe I will get it in when he comes home...?

What really annoys me is that I was banking on eating Subway tonight because we would have gone to John's game which would make me feel a bit better about the pizza. Now I don't know what I will do. If I could just make myself eat my normal lunch meal for dinner tonight, I might be in good shape. We shall see. Sigh...78 days to go!

PS- I am dreading my weigh-in on Sunday :(

Day 11: Yoga, Schmoga

Today has been a pretty great day when it comes down to it. Nothing out of the ordinary happened, but Tenley and I had no place to be and she was in a fantastic mood all day which always makes a day at home more enjoyable. I have learned that my parents are going to be visiting this weekend from Saturday to Sunday (which makes me incredibly, over-the-moon happy) so I started cleaning today for that visit since I have learned that being a mommy also means being unable to do massive cleaning jobs all at one time. Our house was cleaned pretty well just this past weekend, so thankfully all I really have to do is dust and sweep most of the house plus clean the kitchen and bathroom. As of now, all three bedrooms are very clean and smell that way which is always a single of cleaning success. I even have most of the laundry done, so I would say that it has been a productive day.

My eating today has been the same as usual. I notice that once I get into a routine, it really becomes that- a routine. I've noticed this about myself for years, but I can go day to day eating the exact same breakfast and lunch combinations and really not get sick of them. Dinner is a different story, so I am happy that on my self-made plan dinner is a little more liberal. I did OK last night sticking to two decent size pieces of Taco Pizza and only one helping of rice. Also, NO chips and salsa. No wine either. I did have three pieces of candy though, but I'm not beating myself up about it at this point. Tonight we are having tater tot casserole, crescent rolls, and salad so it's going to be carb city. Again, I think that if I go heavy on the salad, easy on the portions and REALLY forgo the candy and wine I will be just fine. We'll see.

Today was the dreaded Yoga X workout. It was really looking like I wasn't going to be able to workout until John came home because Tenley just did not seem tired. She took a longer morning nap today and, on top of that, didn't start that nap until well after 11:30 so I was afraid she wouldn't want to nap at all. At 4:15, I tried to take her downstairs with me to do my workout but that lasted all of 5 minutes before she started rubbing her eyes and fussing. Into the swing she went and she has been happily sleeping there ever since. As far as the workout goes, it wasn't as bad today as it was last time. I really feel stretched out which is nice and the moves were a bit easier to get the hang of. I still cannot do the last sequence of moves for the life of me, but hopefully that will come with time. I was able to do part of it on one side but my balance is crazy whacked out and I have noticed this since being pregnant. I don't know if anyone else who has had a child feels this way, but I feel that once I found out I was pregnant my sense of balance went out the window and hasn't returned. Leave it to Tony Horton to be the one who brings it back. Yuck.

So I have officially completed 11 days of P90X which means that I can finally leave the 80s and say...79 days to go!

Day 10: My Favorite Workout Thus Far...

Today has been another good day. When I got up I realized that I was completely out of lunch food and one bowl away from having no more cereal, so a trip to the grocery store was in the cards for me and Tenley. I hate, hate, HATE going to the grocery store. Today's visit wasn't so bad in the grand scheme of things. Ultra (again, HATE that place!) was less busy than usual with less crotchety, sketchy people than usual and our checkout lady was super nice. Tenley was also an angel through the whole experience which always makes things easier. :) Once we returned home, we continued our day with a quick morning nap (for Tenley), lunch, a little play time, and then a long nap (for Tenley) and a workout (for me).

There isn't much to comment on where food is concerned today. Breakfast and lunch have been the same as usual and my water consumption hasn't been too bad. Tonight I am making Taco Pizza and Spanish rice, so that probably isn't the healthiest of meals. I'm kind of sticking to the concept that if I eat well during the day, the nighttime meal is a kind of free for all as long as I don't go crazy with portions. I think that I still have the whole nursing thing on my side which probably helps a bit with the calorie burn. I haven't snacked at all today (no little cookies! no holiday candy!) so that will also help where dinner is concerned. I hope. :)

Today's workout was great. This has to be my favorite one- shoulders, biceps, and triceps. If you ever asked me if I would enjoy lifting free weights, I would have laughed in your face. This P90X workout is great because each set is a shoulder exercise followed by a biceps exercise followed by a triceps exercise and then repeated once before introducing a new shoulder/bi/tri combo. It goes by super fast and your arms really feel spent afterwards. I took it easy the first time I did it and increased my weights today. I really tried to push myself so we'll see if it pays off. Either way, I'm going to be sore tomorrow because my arms feel like absolute jelly. This workout was followed up with another round of Ab Ripper X which I am growing to HATE even though I think I am getting better at it. It is 16 minutes of pure agony but it does go by fast. I think that's another reason I like P90X- only a couple of the routines drag (Yoga X, anyone?).

Tomorrow is the dreaded Yoga day. I hate Yoga. For those people who love Yoga, I give you props. It is just not for me. I think it will be a bit better when I get the hang of the poses and the names of everything so I don't always have to watch Tony, but it just moves so sloooooow. I know that that is the point in some respects, but it doesn't make it suck any less. Oh well, at least I know that slowly but surely I am working my way through this program. 80 days left!

Day 9: A Good Day

Today has been a good day. Today has also flown by. As I sit here typing, I am realizing that it is already after 5:00 and I feel like we just woke up. Tenley and I had a play date today and it was a great excuse to get out of the house for a couple of hours. One of the best things about being a parent is getting together with other parents. It's a great way to get to know new people and that's what we did today. My friend Michelle is a counselor at Whiting High School and she had her daughter, Riley, on 11/11/11 (how cool is that!?). She is on maternity leave until early February and Beth let her know that I was still home so she contacted me to see if Tenley and I wanted to get together. It was so nice to spend a few hours with her talking about being new mommies and about work. Hopefully we can hang out with them again before Michelle has to go back to work.

Eating today has been interesting. I had a small bowl of cereal and coffee for breakfast and then Michelle and I had Subway for lunch. I didn't eat a whole lot of chips and I am actually going to be repeating that meal for dinner since John has to scout a game tonight. When I picked up lunch, I just made my sandwich into a foot long and will be having the other half tonight with chips, water, and maybe a yogurt. I had two (very VERY small) oatmeal chocolate chip cookies at Michelle's house which were DELICIOUS and homemade. Yum! So no other sweets or wine for me tonight!

Today's workout was killer. It was Plyometrics today which meant 58 minutes of pure jumping madness. It is SUCH a good workout (sweat is literally flying everywhere) but it is also extremely tiring. My legs still feel like jelly an hour later. Which means that I am going to have to drag my trunk around tomorrow for sure. All I know is that I absolutely did not want to work out when Tenley went down for her nap but I made myself do it and I am so glad that I did. Tomorrow's workout is all arms and I actually like it, so I think Wednesdays are going to be one to look forward to (if one can do that with any type of workout) . All I know is that I am almost out of the 80s and into the 70s in my countdown to a more toned (hopefully) body...81 days left!

Day 8: Week 2

Today's post is not going to be much different from any of the others thus far. The good news is that I have completed one full week of P90X and came back to start week 2. Good for me! Today was a repeat of Day 1 which meant the awful push-up/pull-up workout followed by Ab Ripper X. I was dreading this workout today because my arms were killing me from that cardio kickboxing workout on Saturday and this is the workout I feel totally inadequate with. Surprisingly, I was able to do a little more this time. I have to admit, instead of the pull-ups I do the band variation (my brother and Tony Horton both swear that it is just as affective) but I was able to way more pushups today than last week which I already consider progress. I was also surprised that I was able to do one of the three moves in Ab Ripper X that I couldn't do last week. I wasn't able to do the number of reps that Tony did, but just being able to DO the move was progress in my eyes.

Eating today was OK, not great....kind of like yesterday. My breakfast and lunch was the same as always and we had a pot roast/mashed potato/corn dinner. The pot roast was really dry (I'm sucking in the making dinner department lately- usually this meal is a specialty) so I didn't eat a ton. But, we still have some of my mom's leftover candy in the house and I snuck a few pieces between yesterday and today. I'm not talking crazy amounts, but definitely enough that I can't say I haven't had any sweets. I also had a glass of wine last night which just felt appropriate with the Golden Globes and I will probably have another glass tonight which feels appropriate because The Bachelor is on. I'm OK with all of this. If I think that the wine is affecting me after this week, then I'm sure I will have drank the whole bottle by then and won't be motivated to open another.

Tomorrow is Plyometrics which means that Wednesday I won't be able to walk. At least when my body is feeling it I know that I've been working which is a good feeling even if it is a painful one. I just hope I can keep it up for another 82 days!

Day 7: A Day of Rest

Day seven is over halfway done and it has been great! I love that P90X builds in a rest day and that for me, it should fall on Sunday every week if I can stay on track. Sunday has never, ever been a good day for me where workouts are concerned and I can bet you that I wouldn't have worked out today even if I was supposed to. So, all in all, this is perfect. I had my routine cereal-and-coffee-breakfast followed by the usual turkey sandwich/baked lays/yogurt/diet coke for lunch. My water consumption has not been very good thus far, and I need to pick that up throughout the rest of the day. When I stepped on the scale, I found that I am down about 2 pounds from the first time I weighed myself. Although I am used to seeing bigger results during the first week of a slim down, I am sticking with the fact that I am more interested in getting toned than losing a ton of weight and hoping that P90X will do the trick. I'm sure that movie popcorn last night didn't help, but it was totally good and I'm not ashamed of it. :)

Tomorrow I will start days 1-6 all over again with good ol' Tony. I was going to try and write my thoughts on him in today's post but I am really not feeling motivated to be witty today so I am going to leave it at this. If I find that motivation somewhere, maybe it will be a two post day. I'm not counting on it, though because tonight is the night of the Golden Globes and I plan on fully enjoying this, my favorite awards show. So I am going to fully enjoy this restful day and look forward to the next 83.

Day 6: Done for the Day!

Today has been great so far. Although Tenley had a bad night, at least it was Saturday and John is home. He decided to take Tenley with him to a freshman basketball game this morning, so I had two and a half hours to myself...for the second time in months. And I am not exaggerating. I absolutely HATE working out in the morning, but I decided to seize this rare opportunity to get some laundry done and get my workout for the day in. Sitting on this side of the workout, I am so glad that I did!

Day 6 of P90X is Kenpo X which is a lame way of labeling cardio kickboxing. I actually liked this workout a lot because it got my heart rate up and went pretty quickly. Unlike the other workouts thus far, this workout doesn't do four moves and then repeat them, it's all new all the time. In a way, that is good because I can't anticipate what's next and it makes it go faster. Thank goodness there was no Ab Ripper X today or else I might have bailed. Tomorrow is a rest day and I am so happy that I don't have to look forward to anything for tomorrow.

Since it is early, the day still has a lot of time for my eating to shake out. Up to this point, I have only had my cereal and coffee and will eat lunch soon. Dinner will be interesting because weekends are a free for all in that area. I think I am going to catch Breaking Dawn tonight with my sister-in-law one last time before it leaves the theater, so maybe substituting popcorn for dinner is in the cards. I know it's not a healthy option, but I realize a few things about myself:

1. I can't go to the movies and not have popcorn: it's absolute torture
2. Having dinner AND popcorn is going to be a lot of unnecessary calories, especially if the popcorn is non-negotiable
3. Since I am not working out in the afternoon, I shouldn't be starving anyways

I'll let you know how it goes and I'm hoping to write my ode to Tony Horton tomorrow since it is a rest day. 84 days left!

Day 5: Busy, Busy, Busy

Today was such a fun day but a little difficult to get my workout in amongst all of the activity. I woke up naturally about an hour before Tenley usually gets up and my brain said, "Get your butt out of bed and get your workout over with" while my heart (and aching body) said "Just stay nice and cozy until the baby gets up." Can you guess which one won? Yup- aching body every time.

Today was the open house for our awesome guidance secretary who is leaving school next week, so Tenley and I had made plans to grab lunch for the department and go in to school to visit. We had such a nice time seeing everyone and had the added bonus of hanging out with Becky (shout out!) at the end of the day. We then had to run a few errands and by the time we got home, it was already 3:10 and I still had a baby to feel and put down for a nap. Once that was taken care of, I took to the basement to get my butt kicked for the fifth day in a row.

Today's workout in P90X was Legs and Back plus that God awful Ab Ripper X. When I saw that legs were involved, I silently wept to myself because, as of this morning, my legs have felt like they might give out at any second. I knew that this workout would bring lots of squats and lunges (reminding me of Beth's BLT when I was a spry young thing) and I knew I was in for it. And I was right. So in for it, in fact, that I stopped exactly halfway through because of pain and time constraints. John has a game tonight and in order to workout, shower, get Tenley fed, and be ready by 5:30 there was no way to fit in a full hour and 15 minute workout. So I stopped after 33 minutes and did the full 16 minutes of Ab Ripper X...all in all, still over a 45 minute workout which is 45 minutes more than I was doing last week.

For my eating, I tried to be good today even though we went out for lunch. I still had my cereal and coffee for breakfast and then had an egg salad sandwich and baked lays for lunch (no french fries!). I realize the egg salad may not be the healthiest choice since it weighed 500 pounds and is crammed with mayo (I would imagine) but I had it on wheat bread and already sacrificed the fries. Since John has a game tonight, I am planning to have Subway later on this evening.

I cheated today and stepped on the scale and was a little bummed to only be down a pound. Then I remembered that I weighed myself on Day 2, so it's only really been 3 days. Double plus if I would lose a pound a week during this whole P90X experiment, I would be down 13 pounds and that is well past my goal. So...85 days to go.

Day 4: Sick but Working Through It

Today was another good day in the personal goal department but pretty hard everywhere else. John and I are both sick and although he has it worse than me right now, I'm afraid that I am right behind him. I keep telling myself that I can deal as long as Tenley doesn't get sick. She has been the picture of health (knock on wood) up to now without a cough or even a sniffle. I would like to keep that trend going if at all possible. She has broken her nursing strike, so at least that was back to normal today and I was able to leave my pump on the shelf.

My eating today was pretty good. Cereal and coffee for breakfast, my standard turkey sandwich/baked Lays/yogurt/Diet Pepsi for lunch and kind of a weird dinner. I'm so stuffed up that dinner didn't even sound good and turns out, it wasn't good regardless of whether I could taste it or not. I pulled a coop dinner that didn't have a label up out of the freezer and thought I would give it a try which ended up being a mistake because John only ate two bites and I only ate a little bit. I sucked in the dinner department tonight but not in the consuming calories department...just in every other way. :( On a good note, I have been trying to drink more water lately which is something that I have really gotten away from since giving birth. I used to consume loads of water, even before I was pregnant but now I seem to let myself get dehydrated. Over the past week, I have made sure that my water bottle is always nearby and fully stocked. And it feels good.

As for the workout, I did it even though I feel like crap. Today was Yoga X and, for anyone who has ever done P90X, you know that Yoga X is forty five minutes of hard yoga and 45 minutes of straight posing. Now, I conferred with my brother who has gone through this program and he said that on the Yoga day, he would either do the hard yoga OR the poses OR a little of both. I did all of the hard yoga (save for the past five minutes because I just COULD NOT get my body to bend that way) and a few of the poses. I hope to work my way up to doing the hard yoga solidly and maybe doing the poses if the yoga gets easy...which I don't see happening. I have never liked yoga and I still dislike it after today. It is hard, but during the process I felt that my muscles were getting a well-needed stretch which I loved. The only thing was after a shower and playing on the floor with Tenley I feel like my whole body from the waist down is going to dissolve into smithereens. Luckily this has not happened yet, but we shall see what tomorrow brings.

All in all, things are going well. I am hoping to weight myself on my rest day which this week falls on Sunday. I might jump on the scale tomorrow morning just to see if anything has changed. Fridays have historically been my weigh-in days during the times that I am trying to stay on track and old habits die hard. But, since I am really trying to do this this time, maybe I should have just a little more willpower...I guess I'll see how I feel in the morning.

Tomorrow should be a good day as long as Ten and I are both feeling OK. We are picking up Lincoln's and going in to have lunch with the Guidance Department (PLEASE let the roads be clear by then!) and then John has a game tomorrow night. I hope I am able to post but if not, I will get tomorrow and Saturday in on Saturday. 86 more days...

Day 3: Hangin' Tough

Although I wish this post had more to do with the NKOTB and not exercise, it sadly does not. Today was a much better day all around and it is amazing how much easier it is to eat healthy and workout when your day is going well. Tenley and I had absolutely no plans today, so that helped in the grand scheme of things.

We got out of bed around 9 (yes, Tenley slept through the night AGAIN!) and took our time eating breakfast and playing. After an extremely short 30 minute nap, Tenley decided that she wanted to play more. We read books, shot some hoops, and played with the dogs. When it was time for lunch, Tenley decided that she wanted to eat what Mommy was eating, so she had some wheat bread and applesauce. This newfound interest in anything food-related is not helping the fact that she will not nurse. It is now 8:19 pm and the girl has not nursed since 9 this morning. She has eaten solids 4 times, but anytime I offer her the goods she turns away. I'm not too worried because she is eating well otherwise but I may call the doctor tomorrow just to be sure. I digress.

The best part of our day came when I received a call from Rachel that she was free for the afternoon and she came over for a good 3 or 4 hours. I was afraid that we weren't going to be able to touch base with her this week before she goes to Ireland, so it was really good to see her and her in-utero tater tot. Shortly after Rach left, Tenley decided to take a nap and that's when the workout began.

Today's torture of choice in the world of P90X was a one hour shoulder/bicep/tricep workout followed by my favorite: Ab Ripper X. I actually don't mind the arm workout; they take everything slow and the hour goes pretty fast. The problem will be tomorrow when I can't lift my child. The good thing will be that I won't be able to lift a fork to my mouth either, hence helping my food goals. The Ab Ripper X was slightly (and I mean VERY slightly) easier today but there are still 2 moves that I just absolutely can't master. I look at the TV and say "Screw you, Tony. I'm doin' my own thang for this minute of agony." Thank God that bastard can't talk back- I already want to punch him in the face every time I see him. If anyone has done or seen P90X, you have seen Tony Horton. He is the leader of the CD's and I have a love/hate relationship with him. I will describe it when I have more time...maybe on my "rest" day. :) Overall, today's workout was a good one.

The food went well again today. No snacks at all, mainly because I didn't have time. I made John and I vegetable stirfry with a little bit of steak and brown rice for dinner, so I feel that this dinner was the healthiest yet (aside from the egg rolls he picked up on the way home.) I still feel that if I can eat a decent breakfast and lunch every day, the dinner should be ok as long as it's not out of control. I guess we will see if that needs modified after a few weeks. I just know that I am proud of a few things:

1. I have managed to work out for three days consecutively
2. I have stopped eating cookies with breakfast (or at any other time of day to be exact)
3. I feel like I have more energy

Hopefully this will all continue through tomorrow. Only 87 more days...

Day 2: A Total Crapfest (But Good in the Personal Goal Dept)

I am not usually one to use social media to complain about how crappy my life is (because it's not) or how bad my day is (who else cares besides me) or to lament about the woes that plague me (because there aren't many). But, today is a different story. Today was totally craptastic and I am going to complain about it here because I feel like it is the only place (besides to my mom which I have already done) that I really care to share.

First of all, I got a really badass pair of new black boots when I went shopping the day after Christmas. I got them at Macy's and was able to use a 20% coupon, so I thought I was getting a good deal. I chose these boots over a really awesome pair at Aldo that were exactly the same price but with no discount available. Once I got my awesome boots home, I realized that badass does not equal comfortable and that discount or no discount, I still spent entirely way too much money on this pair of boots for them to not be comfortable. Also, I received a camera connection kit for my ipad so that I could download pictures from my camera directly to the ipad instead of having to sync it to my computer all the time. I have tried numerous times, but it just does not work no matter what I do. All of this to say, a trip to Orland Mall was planned today to visit the folks at the Apple Store and to return my boots. An extra bonus to this trip was that I was going to purchase the Aldo boots because I now have a $100 American Express gift card that has those boots' name all over it. I packed Tenley and myself up around 9:30 this morning and off we went; just two gals ready to enjoy a morning at the mall.

When I got to Macy's, the return of the Steve Maddens went without a hitch. I had to wait behind a totally slow old woman who was trying to argue the difference of thirty cents with the cashier, but at least the full amount of MY return was credited back to the good ol' Macy's card. Next, we went to the Apple Store. The first representative I had couldn't figure out what was going on with my business, so she scheduled me for an appointment with a tech for 20 minutes later. Just enough time for me to run up, get my boots, and get back to Apple. A carted Tenley to the second floor and entered Aldo, grabbed the boot I wanted, and waited 15 minutes for the clerk to notice me. She was talking with ANOTHER old lady about a price thing and by the time she got me my boots and I could try them on, I had no time to pay for them (since she was still haggling with the old woman). I asked her to hold them for me until after my appointment and raced down to Apple to keep my appointment.

I love the Apple Store, I really do. I love that I can take any of my gadgets in there and they will help me with them. But this appointment lasted over an hour because they needed to restore my iPad and, while my Apple helper was doing the restore, he took another appointment with AN OLD WOMAN who wanted to buy an iPhone. I had to stand rocking Tenley in the middle of the Apple Store for 45 minutes until my guy came back, only to tell me that my iPad was faulty, not the camera connector kit. So after that WHOLE WAIT they said that I needed a new iPad. Which they just gave to me, which made the whole appointment worth it. Still, Tenley was at the end of her rope and so was I.

The last thing we had to do was go back up and get my boots. Of course, in the hour that lapsed between being there the first time and now, the place was packed. When I finally got me, Tenley, and the stroller up to the counter (that store is NOT made for strollers!) and the girl rang me up, she couldn't get my gift card to work. She just looked at me like I was stupid and said "It's not going through." I was so fed up with the day that I said, "Then you can keep the boots" and shoveled Tenley (who was SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF HER LUNGS) on out of there. I was not about to pay $180 for boots no matter how flustered I was.

Once we got home, Tenley's mood did not improve much, but I was able to get her down for an hour nap so that I could work out. She did not sleep any more than that hour, but at least I was able to get to what I needed to do. Today in the land of P90X was Plyometrics and I will be lucky if I can even get out of bed tomorrow. It is 58 minutes of pure Hell. But I made it through and although I feel like crap now- headache, body aches, overall exhaustion- I think I can chalk that up more to my day then to the exercise. My eating went really well today too, so it was not a total loss because I'm still on track. I think of doing 88 more days of this and I only hope that my life cooperates a little bit more. Or else I will P90X myself right off a bridge.

Day 1: D-Day Has Arrived...

I don't really know if anyone reads this blog anymore since I post so sporadically, but for those of you who do, things are about to get...interesting. This is because I am finally fed up with feeling like a bloated, fat pig who can no longer blame this condition on having a baby. Because that baby came out of me nine months ago and has been replaced with grossness. Blech. I tried to get myself back in order a few months ago but because Tenley refused to cooperate (silly baby!) I could not find a time to get a workout in. I kept telling myself, "Just wait until January when everyone else is on a workout kick and then jump in." Once I resolved myself to "waiting until January" I went ape, eating everything in sight for the last three months. I am super surprised that Tenley has made it out alive without a single bite mark. The time has finally arrived, friends, and I need to get my ass back to the size it was before I was impregnated- or as close to that size as possible.

For the past three months, January 9th has been looming. Today is the day that John went back to school and the day that seemed like the right time to start working out and eating better. Over his break, John did a great job of cleaning up the basement which opened up a great space for me to kick my own butt. We have acquired a full set of free weights (of which I can only lift, like, three) so that will hopefully work into the routine at some point. In full preparation for today, I spent my weekend stuffing my face and being as lazy as humanly possible with an 8 month old. I. Was. Ready.

I woke up this morning and have done fantastically all day. I ate without snacking (which has become a HUGE vice for me) and actually worked out. I have decided that I am not going to count calories- it is far too time consuming and close to impossible at this point in my life. Also, I am still nursing Tenley so a drastic cut in calories is not in the cards. What I WILL do is trade cookies for veggies, cake for whole grains, and candy for...well, I might still have some candy. My main goal with eating is to stop hoarfing cookies every chance I get and to cut WAY down on the disgusting fast food I've been eating. If I have to eat out, it needs to be Subway and not Jimmy John's or McDonald's. So, Judy at Subway who called me out for being such a frequent customer two years ago- Mama's comin' home.

The biggest part of this whole slim down for me is the workout. I have decided to give P90X the good old college try. It was my workout of choice a few months ago and I really liked it save for the part that I couldn't find an hour every day to do it. Now that Tenley has decided that an hour and a half nap every afternoon is a GOOD thing, I think it will be perfect for me. I don't have to leave the house and the workout is different every day. The downside is that it is 6 days on and only 1 day off, but hopefully I can figure out how to stick with it. My brother has done this program and he is friggin' RIPPED. I only hope that I can get toned enough to not want to jump off a bridge every time I look in a mirror.

Today was Day 1 of the workout and it was great. P90X Day 1 is chest and back followed by Ab Ripper X. I hate that the first day is full of the stuff I CAN'T do- push ups and pull ups. I can jump, squat, and bicep curl all day long but pushups? Yeah, right. I made it through but my arms now feel like jelly and every time I pick up Tenley I fear for her safety...which means I must have done something right. The Ab Ripper X was awful but I made it through. They don't call it Ab Ripper for nothing...I literally think that my body was in two pieces at the end of it and I was sweating like a pig. Again...must have done something right.

To wrap this up, I want to tell you of my goal. I weighed myself after my first workout and it turns out that I only really have about 10 pounds to lose. Those 10 pounds would put me 4 pounds less than I weighed before I found out I was pregnant and right where I want to be. 15 pounds would put me at the weight I was on my wedding day (Which makes me think, Man, I've gained 15 pounds since my wedding? That wasn't THAT long ago!). In the end, it's really not about the weight but about feeling like I look good. My brother is getting married in June and I am part of that wedding. I already have my bridesmaid dress and I had to order it in a size SIX SIZES BIGGER than I used to wear. SIX SIZES! Damn you, Banana Republic for making me feel like a heifer, but it does provide some good motivation. I would like to do this P90 X for the 90 days I'm supposed to, blogging through my journey to keep me honest. Hopefully I can stick with it. I took a "before" picture that I thought about posting, but it is way too embarrassing. If I have a good "after" result, I will consider posting both. I guess we shall see in 90 days...

Poop...And Other Things

So it has again been a long while since I have written a post but life has just been too crazy. It is hard to believe that it can be so crazy when I am not even holding down an away-from-the-home job, but I feel like each day begins and ends without me knowing what happened. It is still rare that I have time to actually turn on my computer and, once it is on, have two free hands to type, so you lucky readers out there are reading what is being done with these precious moments of time. I hope I make it worth your while.

Since becoming a mom, many things have changed. As highlighted in a previous post, modesty has gone out the window. In my life B.T. (Before Tenley), I wouldn't have been caught dead letting anyone see my boobs or other private parts, would never have talked freely about such body parts, and would never in a million years thought that someone else's poop (or lack thereof) would be a constant worry of mine. Well folks, I'm here to tell you that all of the above have happened, continue to happen, and will probably keep happening for a long time. Everyone and their dog (literally) have seen my chest because, deal with it, my child has to eat. When I had Tenley, my mother, mother-in-law, and anyone who walked through my hospital room got a full view of all the goods so that too went out the window. I ran errands with my mother-in-law (whom I love) yesterday and this random thought went through my head: "I wonder if every time Carol sees me she just sees my vagina with a baby hanging out of it?" I've probably scarred that woman for life. Finally, I think, worry, and obsess about Tenley's poop more than anything else in the world. So I don't have a run-on (and on, and on) paragraph, I am going to start a whole new one dedicated to my child's constipation.

My poor Tenley is constipated. There- I said it so she doesn't have to. Hopefully this post won't embarrass her in 13 years. That baby has such a hard time pooping that I almost want to cry with her when she tries to go. I have come to recognize her pooping face because she gets really still, kind of stays in one place, and grimaces a little. That's on days that she can poop freely with nothing stopping her up. These days, she kind of whimpers, grunts, and her face gets as red as a tomato as she tries to get things moving. Most times I just stand her up and she looks deep into my eyes (they learn about focal points early) and just grunts and grunts and eventually ends up in tears. It breaks my friggin' heart. After all the grunting, I take her in to change her and she has one hard-as-a-rock deposit. For as hard as she works, she should be birthing a watermelon.

We have tried several things- prunes, prune juice, easing up on the cereal, adding more fruit, bicycles, stomach massages...the list goes on. I finally called the doctor today and he recommends switching from oat to barley cereal and to give her non-diluted adult prune juice. We'll see how it goes. For now, my baby is going to be one big non-pooping machine. :(

Now for the "Other Things" part to this post. Now that the holidays are over I feel a bit of a void. Not really bad, but not really good. We had an absolutely fantastic Christmas- I couldn't believe how much more awesome an already awesome holiday could be until having a child. Tenley was spoiled silly and was really good throughout all of the festivities even though she was working on two teeth. I know that once Christmas was over, I said that I was happy. There is so much preparation that goes into Christmas, especially because a large part of both sides of the family have birthdays that fall during the holidays. The thing is, I never realize how much I kind of enjoy the preparations until January rolls around and there are no real projects or places to go. I love, love, LOVE staying home with Tenley but I am viewing the upcoming months and realizing that the weather could suck and with nothing fun in the near future, the days could get long. I will figure something out, and it is going to start with getting a regular workout in (P90X here I come!) and cleaning out closets. We'll see how both of those go. :)

I have to dedicate the end of this post to bragging on my baby a little. For months, John and I have been trying to get Tenley to sleep in her crib. She has been sleeping in her rock n' play sleeper since she was born and she is now much to big for it. Her sleeping has been awful and I was at my wits end. We have tried 3 different times to get her to sleep in her crib but it has always resulted in her waking up every hour and a half (NOT KIDDING) and, once we put her back in her sleeper, she sleeps peacefully. We came to the point where there was no other option because her feet are sticking out of the end of her rock n' play. We had committed to the fact that Operation Crib would have to happen the week after New Years so that John could help me get up at night while on vacation from school. We had been DREADING this week for a month. We put her in the crib for the first time on New Year's Eve and she woke up....only once. The next night, she woke up....only once (for an hour, but still only once!)...the next night she woke up at 1 AM and then slept until 8:00 and last night she slept through the ENTIRE night. In her crib. Like a big girl. If I could make out with a baby, I would make out with her. But that is wrong on so many levels, so I will just continue to count my blessings that these last few nights have been so good and continue to pray that every night will be a good one.