The Big Bangs Theory

So I went home this weekend and got me some bangs. Yup, I went to get my hair did and opted to have Staci whack off the top of my hair into fringy, bitchin' bangs. This may not seem important to anyone in particular, but to me it is a life changing event. I have been considering this change of 'do for awhile now and, after the deed was done, was left to wonder how it would change my life. Turns out I didn't have long to wait.

Directly after my haircut, I went to my grandparents' house to visit. I walked in the door unannounced (as I always do) and surprised the ever-livin' crap out of my grandma. Once she pulled herself together (and picked the oyster crackers she was getting ready to bake to save them from staleness off the floor) she goes, "Chrissy! I didn't even recognize you!" This left me confused because I didn't think that my transformation was all that severe. As she sat across the table from me and we visited, she just shook her head and stated that I looked like a teeny-bopper. What does that even mean?? If it means that I look like Demi Lovato or Selena Gomez, then I will take that. If I look like every other 14 year old with bangs, then please push me off the nearest bridge.

When I thought about making the change, I was inundated with pictures of cute celebs with bangs- J-Lo, that girl from that one show, that other girl from that other commercial, and thought "This is a good direction for me and my hair to go." At this point, the jury is still out. It is going to take me a bit to figure out how to rock this new look, but the saving grace is that these appendages of hair are still long enough to push over to one side to create the "bang swoop" which I have sported for some time. I can't believe all of my options!

To take us all back to the title of this post, I have been struggling to come up with the Big Bangs Theory. In my short experience, I have realized that having bangs make old people forget that you are an adult. Example number one is my grandma. Examples number 2, 3, and 4 come from this morning's church experience. If you've read this blog before, you have heard me explain that my Mom and Dad's church could easily double for a nursing home intake center. Everyone there is OLD. I say that with a lot of love- these are people that I have known for MY WHOLE LIFE. They were old when I was 5 and they are still old, God love them. When I walked into church today, we were running late so I was spared the usual, "Oh, Chrisanne! What are you doing home?" and "Where's that husband of yours? We are starting to think he doesn't exist!" and I was able to slip right into our usual back row pew. After the service was over, I was approached by many of the church patrons that I hadn't seen in awhile. One of our good family friends game me the usual, "You look just as pretty as always. You never get any older. You are eternally 18 to me." Now, ladies, you know that any compliment like this is a great thing. I am hoping that as long as he lives, this particular gentleman will tell me the same exact thing. The next person I ran into is a particularly funny man that just happens to be our former senator. I have known him for my whole life and he still neglects to remember that I am a) out of college, b) married, and c) employed. This encounter isn't even worth regaling. Finally, one of our most distinguished congressional members approached me and my grandfather to say hello. He says to me, "Are you finished with school for the year?" to which I reply, "Nope, we still have a few weeks left, but I am ready!" to which he says, "I bet you're ready to graduate this year" to which I reply "No, I already graduated" to which he says "Oh, do you have a job lined up?" I just hang my head, wondering what about me looks like I am still 22. Then I realize- IT'S THE BANGS. My grandpa looked at him like he was crazy and says, "Chrissy has been out of school for 5 years. She's almost 30." Thanks Gramps...I appreciate the support.

So, although I feel this blog is pointless, it is all I have at this point on a Sunday night. Take it or leave it.