A very dear person in my life has encouraged me to start blogging again and, since I have kind of morphed back into a semblance of the life that I had when I started this blog, I thought that maybe it would be a good idea. Many, MANY things have changed since my last blog post. I have not one but TWO children who are now 7 and 5 and I'm down a dog (and, for the record, a husband). I've been a stay-at-home mom, a Shipt shopper, did a brief stint trying to teach Chinese kids English via the internet, and have landed full-circle back in the MHS Guidance Office helping wayward youth one tissue at a time. Life is starting to make sense again and, for the most part, all of these changes have been good. I don't want to lament on the changes in my personal life at this point so, instead, I will lament on the changes of the very holiday on which I am writing this post: Halloween through the years of my life.
To me, Halloween has been an overall insignificant holiday. Much like Labor Day and Memorial Day, I never put much thought into it as a kid. I don't ever remember getting super excited about picking costumes and it never failed to be cold and rainy on the night of actual trick or treating. Costumes from my youth included recycling whatever ensemble I had worn for recital in order to pose as a "ballerina" or a "dancer." I also had the privilege of experiencing every 80's kid's Halloween right of passage: the costumes containing the plastic mask with nose holes just big enough to keep you from suffocating but just small enough that your breath turned to condensation on the inside of it and, rather than suffocate, you would run the risk of drowning in your own sweaty snot. And don't get me started on how unexcited my mom would be to take us trick-or-treating. I think she would have rather had a root canal but, being the wonderful mom that she is, would suck it up to take us around my grandparents' block shouting things like "Remember to say thank you!" or "Be careful on those steps!" as we darted up to the houses. After we (read: she) had had enough, we would go back to my grandparents' house and help hand out candy. Upon returning home, my brother and I would take all of our candy and line it up on the living room floor across from one another. We would silently check out each other's stashes and begin the long process of haggling over candy to trade. This task took forever, and usually ended in me threatening him bodily harm if he didn't trade me his Reese Cups for my disgusting black or orange wrapped mystery candy. I remember my friend Jeanette telling me that her mom would take their candy, spread it out on the table, and inspect if for signs of tampering. When I asked my dad about that, he just said "Chew carefully in case there's a needle stuck in something" and that was all the advice I needed. Something to note here- I was never impaled or poisoned from eating Halloween candy, so I will consider my trick-or-treating endeavors a 100% success.
As I grew older, Halloween traditions changed. My parents live on a lake on a road that has no outlet and only old people residing on it. For this reason, we never had trick-or-treaters. Mom and dad would always buy one bag of Fun Size Snickers bars and would throw them in the freezer "just in case" we had any kids come by. That bag of Snickers was never needed and, instead, would dwindle over time whenever someone's sweet tooth started calling. In middle and high school, I would inevitably end up at my grandparents' house in town, helping to hand out candy and watching my younger cousins trick or treat. This was all well and good, but I couldn't help but wonder if Halloween would ever be exciting again or if the pinnacle of my spooky experiences had happened while wearing that sweaty My Little Pony mask all those years ago. And then I went to college.
Halloween in college and in your single 20s is probably the most fun holiday on the planet. For those of you Mean Girls fans, there is a quote in there that states "In the real world, Halloween is when kids dress up in costumes and beg
for candy. In Girl World, Halloween is the one day a year when a girl
can dress up like a total slut and no other girls can say anything else
about it." These words were never truer than it is during Halloween as a girl from ages 18 to 25-ish. Gone are the days of suffocating masks and present are the days of "Sexy Police Officer" or "Sexy Dorothy" or "Sexy Ghostbuster" or, my personal favorite, a "Garden Ho"...all costumes that I have donned over the years. I can remember going to my first frat Halloween party at ATO during my freshman year at IU. I dressed as Britney Spears from the Baby One More Time music video and had a great time guzzling jungle juice and stumbling around the house. Fast forward to my senior year of college where I had the best roommates on the planet. We were finally old enough to go to the bars and the bars was WHERE IT WAS AT on Halloween. Everyone dressed up and went out- it was pretty much the most fun night of the year. We decided, after a last minute trip to Wal-Mart, to dress as Tom Cruise in Risky Business- White button-down shirts, tighty whities, tube socks, and sunglasses. The four of us went out to Happy Hour for dinner before getting ready, and ended up at Upstairs (before I started working there) to play pool before going home to dress for the night. Upon telling the bartender what we were planning to be, he opened the cabinet that housed the Upstairs Pub swag and pulled out 4 teeny tiny Upstairs Pub thongs. He told us that if we wore the thongs over our tighty whities and stood on the bar for a picture, our drinks were free all night. That was a no brainer! When we returned to Upstairs later that night, we were all wearing tube socks with no shoes, men's shirts, and Upstairs thongs over our men's underwear. At that point we probably would have stood on the roof for a picture, so the four of us clamored up on the bar to take one of the most iconic pictures that the 342 Crew has ever taken: us flashing our Upstairs thongs at the place where we spent more hours than any classroom on campus. I think that picture is still hanging up at the bar, and I could not be more proud.
Once I left college, Halloween fun still continued through my mid-twenties. This is where the various "sexy" costumes came into play. I challenge you to go to a Spirit Halloween store and find a costume for a woman that doesn't have "Sexy" in the title. Unless it's a couples costume, there are no "normal" costumes to be found. Can you just be Dorothy? Nope. You have to be "Sexy Dorothy" with a a dress cut down to your belly button and a skirt that barely covers your nether region. These are outfits that I never would have dreamed of wearing any other day of the year but, on Halloween, why not? There is something to be said for stepping out of your comfort zone and embracing your more provocative side once in a while. Plus it helps you get drinks at the bar.
This finally brings me full circle to the Halloweens you have once you produce offspring. The first few Halloweens as a new mom were ok, dressing the babies up for cute pictures and going to family parties. The fun really started, though, once my kids were old enough to trick-or-treat. I learned that it is super fun to trick-or-treat when you can basically walk out the door and go house to house instead of having to drive 10 miles to your grandparents' house in order to find a block of people that might actually have candy. I love seeing my kids' excitement as they approach each new house in anticipation of getting some great candy. I also find myself yelling, "Remember to say thank you!" and "Don't trip on those steps!" just like my mom did all those years ago. I also cringe at the thought of one of my kids exclaiming, "Ew! I don't like this candy" or throwing a fit when that one person gives mini frisbees or toothbrushes instead of candy. In those cases, I plaster a big smile on my face and try to talk over my kids' protests as I drag them to the next house. I kind of don't blame them though- I would rather these people give the kids candy with needles in them so that we could just pick the needles out and not have to worry about finding a place for yet another useless frisbee.
As I ready myself for a night of chilly trick-or-treating with my kids and our great friends, I can only be thankful for the fun that is had on this day. I will happily walk from house to house, bundled up with spiked cider in hand, and watch my kids gather the sweet treats that will inevitably spark a healthy dentist bill in just a few short months. Whether you are handing out candy, channeling your inner Sexy Dorothy, or dealing with putting sugar high kids to bed after a night of candy consumption, I wish you all a very Happy Halloween!
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